Alec's Birth Story
We got to the hospital just before midnight Wednesday 2/27/02. Trying to get into the hospital was like a comedy. We go first to the garage to park - get a great spot right by the doors. Walk all the way up to the main doors to find they are locked after 8 pm and we are to enter through the ambulance bay which is all the way on he other side of the hospital. So we drive over that way and after several attempts we finally park and find the right door. The emergency room is quiet and they offer me a wheelchair but I decline. Anyway....
At our birth class they had told us to go right to the admit desk in Labor and Delivery so we did. They weren't too happy with us that we hadn't called my OB first and let her know we were coming but oh well, what could they do at this point? So they put us in a room - and it was actually the same room we had seen on our tour a few weeks ago. At this point the floor seemed very quiet, despite the full moon. In retrospect I never did look up to see the full moon that night, in the car on the way to hospital I was concentrating too hard on the contractions and on my own thoughts - I wish I had looked up or thought to snap a picture of the moon though for posterity. Oh well.
So we're admitted and put in the room (LDR#1) where I am told to put all my clothes in this plastic bag and put on the hospital gown. The nurse comes in and hooks me up to the fetal heartrate and contraction monitor and agrees that yes, I am really having contractions. The baby's heartrate looks good so so far so good. She checks my cervix and to my complete shock and disappointment I am still only at 2cm - exactly where I was this morning at my OB appt - all these hours of contractions and no change. The exam was pretty painful and the nurse says my cervix is posterior. Ugh. The contractions are somewhat painful at this point and she tells me if I want a shot for the pain so I can sleep and rest to just let her know. I skip the shot for now and just try to get through the contractions. They aren't too bad but I'm not sure I can sleep through them. The nurse makes me a rice sock which helps the pain for awhile. Since it looks like we're here for the long haul, Michael goes down to the car to bring up our bags and pillows and I decide to go for the shot of nubain which will hopefully just take the edge off the contractions and allow me to sleep. I didn't know it would be a shot in my rear though! This is around 2:30 am and she checks my cervix again and its still only 2 cm. But at least the nubain works and makes me drowsy enough that I can sleep and rest for what I anticipate will be a big day tomorrow! The nubain doesn't completely get rid of the pain, just kind of dulls it - I can still feel some tightening but its not painful. Since I am all hooked up to the fetal monitors going to the bathroom is a pain since I have to disconnect myself. Michael is wonderful and helped me connects and reconnects me to the machine as necessary. Then he pulls his big green hospital recliner up next to my bed and we try to get some rest.
At 6 am the nurse checks me again and I can't believe it I am still 2 cm. I am incredibly frustrated. So Michael decides since things are going so slow to go home and walk the dog. I hate for him to leave but it has to be done. While he is gone I try to sleep some more and ask my new day nurse Andrea how long the nubain lasts - she says about 3 hours so its probably wearing off. I agree b/c I am really feeling the contractions now. She asks if I will want an epidural and I say yes which surprise me since I didn't want one but the pain is getting pretty bad and we are still only in early labor. To get me ready for the epidural and because I am group B strep positive, she starts an IV for me - just one more contraption that makes going to the bathroom that much more difficult! Oh well. So I hang out in bed waiting for Mike to come back and watching the baby's heartrate and my contractions on the monitor. I love watching the baby's heartrate - it seems to range form 130-160 so that is good. Watching the contractions build is not as fun. It probably would have been better if I wasn't watching the monitor because I could feel my body tensing to fight the increasing pain as I watched the numbers on the monitor rise. I did my best to breathe through them but the intensity was really building and I was finding it more and more difficult.
The nurse checks me again - this is getting to be quite torturous - though this time its not as bad, probably because all of a sudden I am now 5-6 cm! So the pain was worth it as I had really progressed in a very short amount of time. Michael comes back at 7:30 am and I am very happy to see him! I decide to go for the epidural now so the nurse calls the anithesiologist. I almost miss him because I am in the bathroom (once the epidural is in I won't be able to get out of bed and will need a catheter). and he only has a small time window to do the epidural before he has to join a surgery. So I forgot about the bathroom and run out as well as I can and tell them I'd rather get the epidural. The anithesilogist is really nice and very talkative, I guess to put Mike and I at ease. The epidural isn't nearly as bad as I thought - and I was petrified of having something stuck in my back. But it was just a little sting and then some cold. I couldn't even feel it. Having the catheter placed wasn't fun though. In what seems ironic later, the nurse tells me that things are crazy on the ward - the full moon has really sent everyone into labor and they don't have enough rooms right now and that I am one of the few women whose labor is going well.
At this point Dr. Vasilaskis came to check on me - my OB was not on call today but would come for the delivery. Even though I am dilating and contracting the baby is very very high still so they decide to give me pitocin to increase the contractions and hopefully help the baby get down the birth canal. Things are not going the way I planned - epidural, pitocin, etc. but at this point I am starting to worry that the baby is still so high and willing to try anything to get him/her down the canal. I can still feel him/her high in my ribs so I know that not much is going on in that respect.
I sleep for awhile, and then Dr. V comes back with the ultrasound machine. I guess because the baby is so high they couldn't feel a head when they checked me and want to double check that the baby actually is head down. S/he is thankfully head down but because there has still been no progress they increase my pitocin. I sleep some more but it is more difficult as the stronger pitocin contractions can be felt through the epidural - a tightening pressure all the way around my mid section, but at least it is not painful.
They check me again around noon and I am completely dilated - 10 cm. I start pushing with Mike and the nurse Andrea helping me by holding my legs. Mike counts for me so I know how long to push. The problem is my waters still have not broken and the pushing has brought the membrane down through the canal and it is actually bulging out. They are afraid that once the bag breaks the umbilical cord could prolapse and slip out as well, or that it could be already low in the bag. They call my OB's office and Dr. V is on her way over - I guess Dr. Millar had a personal emergency come up (I found out later her dog died and she took some personal time because she didn't think she would have the presence of mind to focus on a birth). The nurse is fascinated by my waters and the bulging membrane. Mike seems fascinated as well. She asks if I want to touch it and I decline - it seems too scary to me right now - all I can picture is a prolapsed cord or the cord wrapped around the baby's neck. I'm starting to get scared at this point. Well my waters break on their own before Dr. V arrives and the cord is not prolapsed luckily. So we continue the pushing. And I push and push and the baby is just not coming down. I keep asking Mike if he can see the head and I can see in his eyes that there is just no progress down there.
Around 2:00 I am still pushing and the baby's heartbeat starts to drop rapidly. It went from 160 to 60. Mike and I couldn't register what the monitor was showing us. For a minute we thought it was now measuring my heartrate. So the nurse put an oxygen mask on my face and I rolled on my side to help the baby's heartrate and to also see if switching positions would help get him/her down the canal better. Luckily the baby's heartrate came back up - but after that I couldn't take my eyes off the monitor I was so terrified the heartrate would drop again.
Dr. V comes back to check me and decides at this time that the baby is posterior and explains to us that this is why s/he is having such a hard time getting down the canal. His face is pointed in the wrong direction - he is looking at my back where he should be facing forward. This means his head is not entering the birth canal the right way - or the most optimal way for his soft head to squish and maneuver the canal. Some babies can be born posterior but it is better if he will turn. Hopefully the side lying pushing will help this as well. I realize the baby has been posterior my whole pregnancy - I could always feel his/her little butt sticking out in the top middle of my belly - and I am having little hope s/he will turn at this late point.
Keep pushing and pushing. At this point Dr. V comes in and talks to us again - I have been pushing for almost 3 hours and the baby is not moving down any further. She recommends we try the vacuum. This sounds horrific to me but I am willing to do anything to get this baby out healthily. The reality of the vacuum is beyond horrific. I can't even describe how awful it was. The first attempt failed. Then the second attempt failed. Dr. V said they only get 3 tries and she was actually reluctant to even attempt the third try because the vacuum actually didn't fit properly, I was too small and that or the baby's presentation was preventing her for getting a good seal and the vacuum from working. She went to confer with the chief of OB at the hospital and then he came in to check me - there was just way too much checking going on and the epidural didn't seem to be working any more, I could feel way too much of everything. At this point after the pain and failure of the vacuum I lost it and just broke into tears, it was just all too awful and I was so exhausted and worried for the baby. Mike was so great through all this and I felt bad for him having to watch all this - he must have felt so helpless.
What this check determined was 2 things - my crazy baby had now turned and was facing the right way now - but at the same time had moved further up the birth canal. So they said since s/he had turned they would crank up the pitocin and I could push for one more hour but that the window for pushing was closing and they wouldn't let me push for more than another hour. And that we may have to consider a c-section. Because we had been pushing for so long and because of the increased pitocin they decide to do an internal monitor on the baby. They really cranked the pitocin and the contractions were pretty intense even through the epidural. It just feels like intense pressure on my lower back. So we push and push and push. And the baby doesn't budge.
Dr. V and the chief come back in and check me yet again. They are really rooting around in there and I really think I may reach my breaking point on pain tolerance. I can't understand why I can't feel my left leg but I can feel every poke and prod down there from the doctors. After conferring they both agree that the bone structure of my pelvis is presenting abnormally. That the bone structure is too narrow and one bone projects a certain way that is prohibiting the baby from getting past it. In their opinion the only option is a c-section - the baby just can not get though the canal. I'm devastated and crying but I understand we have to do this for the baby. I've been in labor for about 28 hours now and pushing for about 4, I understand this baby is just not coming and I have pushed as hard as I could - at times I thought I would pop a blood vessel in my brain. What more could I do. But I am immensely sad and I beg them to turn the pitocin off - it seems too unfair to be feeling contractions at this point when I won't be pushing any more.
The catheter goes back on and they prep me for surgery. Mike gets into his scrubs. We have a few light moments and take some pictures. I'm not scared as much at this point as just sad it has come to this. I'm wheeled out of the room before I can say good-bye to Michael. He can't join us in the OR until everything is set up so I'll be going in alone initially. For some reason this bothers me more than anything. I really wanted to say good bye to him. At least I get to verbally but I can't see him behind me, but I wave.
Into the OR we go and I have to get on the operating table which is hard with my weak epidural legs. Once there I am staring up at these huge egg lights. Then they drape me with the screen so that is all I can see in front of me. My epidural is increased for the surgery and they poke my arm which I feel but when they poke my stomach and legs I feel nothing. I am freezing so they put a warm blanket over my top which feels so good.
They are all set up and Michael is finally allowed in and he takes a seat next to me and holds my hand. It seems like it is taking forever for them to actually start the operation. I say so to Mike and and he looks at me funny and says they have already started. I can't feel a thing. None of the pulling and tugging that many women say you feel during a c-section. Nothing. Which is good I guess because even though the baby wasn't coming far enough down the birth canal, he was far enough down that they had to reach in and push him up to get him out through the c-section incision. I didn't know this until after the surgery when Mike told me. I was once again grateful for my epidural and glad the increased dosage had finally numbed everything. Finally after what seemed like an eternity - I was getting increasingly worried about the baby - it seemed to be going on forever. I asked the nurse and she said the baby was fine, but I was worried, I missed the reassurance of the baby heartrate monitor. But finally we heard the cry - and not just any cry, but a long hard angry healthy cry. And then another and another. We were so happy I couldn't stop crying and Mike was getting teary as well. We were so happy he was crying and alive that we forgot to ask what it was - the doctor had to ask us if we wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl. Despite all the chaos, I remember this moment so vividly - the dramatic pause before he told us what the baby was. In my heart I knew it was a boy before he even said though I still was holding out hope for a girl. But then the doctor said boy and everything just seemed right. They took him over to the warming bed and cleaned him off and his Apgars were 9 and 9. He was still crying and crying and Mike got up to go check him out and as soon as the baby heard Mike's voice he stopped crying. It was amazing. I am sure the little guy was like - oh, this is the guy who poked me all those months in the womb! So Mike stayed with the baby at the warmer while the doctors stitched me up. They asked the baby's name and it was very surreal to hear Mike tell them the name we had chosen. At first I was worried because I hadn't even seen the baby yet - what if he didn't look like an Alec? Oh well....
Then they weighed him and asked Mike to guess the weight before hand - he guessed 8 pounds and that is exactly what the little guy weighed! Once they were done with all that they handed Mike the baby and it was so funny to see Mike's face because he had never held such a little baby before. But he was instantly a natural. He brought Alec over to me and I was so happy to see this little guy though I couldn't hold him yet. Mike held him close to my face and chest though and he was just such an adorable little one with his heartshaped face and his blonde hair - no idea where that hair came from though! The nurse warned us he had an awful cone head but with the little hat on you couldn't tell and to me he looked perfect.
After what seemed like an eternity and was probably close to an hour they finished stitching me up. I had also had some tearing from the vacuum that needs to be stitched as well. It seemed so long because I couldn't hold my baby and I had the worst shakes and chills- the nurses said they were normal afterbirth shakes and there wasn't anything to be done - fighting them makes them worse. It was miserable. But then it was over and I was loaded on to my bed again and they put Alec in my arms. I couldn't believe it that I got to hold him as I was wheeled out of the OR. I couldn't believe I was holding my baby and I couldn't stop looking into his deep blue-black old man eyes. I never knew that newborns looked so wise. He seemed so old, but so new and wondrous at the same time. He just looked up at me like, oh so this is who you are. He was absolutely amazing. And he made this whole devastating ordeal worth it.
