June 2001

We're trying to get pregnant. I've given up caffeine and alcohol. I'm taking prenatal vitamins. I'm doing research on how this all works. I am sort of exercising. I'm praying. I'm ready.

And now we're waiting. To see if I am pregnant. I can't even tell you how nervous I am. I'm nervous that something will go wrong, that we won't be able to get pregnant and have children. I'm nervous that we will get pregnant and something will go wrong with either the pregnancy or the baby. I'm nervous we're not ready to be parents, if we'll be good parents. The fears are endless. But so is the excitement.

June 22nd: It's going to be a tough two weeks waiting to see if we're pregnant. But luckily it's an extremely busy two weeks so that should keep my mind form obsessing too much.

June 26th: Mark and Liron, our friends from Sydney, Australia are in town and staying with us this week before we all head to New Hampshire for Rob and Heather's wedding. We had a great time tonight catching up over dinner. And then they dropped the bomb on us - they are pregnant! Liron is 3 months along and due on January 8, 2002. They seem worried and somewhat bemused by Michael's initial reaction, claiming he went white as a ghost. Later Michael told me he just was processing too many thoughts! Of course we didn't tell them we are trying, we haven't told a soul, well perhaps a few souls, but not many. We didn't want people to know in case we had any problems - too much pressure.

Anyway so that is the big news. I am so happy and excited fro them. Though I had to be careful and not give myself away because of course I was very curious and asking Liron a ton of questions. I got nervous when she turned to me and said "You sure know a lot about this stuff" So I toned my questions down and tried to play dumb :-)

June 30th: I may be crazy, but certain signs are very positive and I am beginning to suspect. Though I am afraid it is just wishful thinking. Then Michael's friend Doug freaks me out by asking me point blank (for some unknown reason) if I was pregnant. Sadly, I thought it was a comment on my current physique. Turns out he was just trying to stir the pot. Little does he know!